Despite multiple composition courses in college and a career that requires constant writing, there is no way that my meager communication skills can properly convey the experience of obtaining Ann's visa to stay in Israel. Simply put, the English language does not lend itself easily to the kind of graphic description that is necessary to give the reader a feel for what it was like, as language requires words, and words alone cannot express the level of frustration that this experience engendered.
But, I will try.
I recommend not reading this if you are about to go to bed or if you scare easily, as what I'm about to impart might stir even the bravest soul and create a discomfort in your heart that you will not shed lightly.
I got my first taste of the dangers of dealing with the Israeli bureaucracy (בירוקרטיה) when I attended the orientation for new Fulbright Scholars in Washington a few weeks before leaving for Israel. The director of the Israel Fulbright program gave us a stern warning. He said that under no circumstances, and I REPEAT, under no circumstances should you go to the ministry of interior alone. I cannot emphasize that enough, he said. You MUST find the person at your university who is in charge of getting visas for visitors and have them accompany you to the ministry of interior office. Do not DARE attempt to do this alone, he said, and I've never seen anyone more serious in my life.
On our third day in Israel, we dragged the kids to the #27 bus and headed to the Ministry of Interior office (משרד הפנים) on our own. I figured, come on, how bad could it be? I speak Hebrew, and I'm pretty good at talking my way into things and out of situations. Surely it can't be as bad as he said. We were still all jet-lagged and did not think to bring any books or video games for the kids. This would be a quick in and out, and we'd be all set.
Let me back up and explain what we were trying to accomplish. I am a dual citizen of Israel and the US, because I was naturalized as an Israeli when my parents moved to Israel when I was a child. Despite the fact that I was still a child when they returned to the US (and still act like a child very often these days), I am considered an Israeli here. Ann, on the other hand, is a full red blooded American and thus to visit Israel for more than 3 months, she must obtain a visa permitting here to stay here.
So, we get to the Ministry of the Interior, and they are closed for lunch. Furthermore, they don't do visas any more that day. You must return on Sunday or Thursday from 8-12 or on Monday from 2:30 - 5:30, or every other Tuesday from 1:30 - 3:45, and every seventh Wednesday from 10:30 - 10:33 on odd days of the month, except during leap years, and the whole schedule is subject to change without notice. I figured that there was no way we would every be able to return on a day when they were actually giving visas at the right time. But, the next day, we tried again early in the morning. The kids were still waking up when we had been in the waiting room for 20 minutes. Again, we did not think to bring anything for them to do. After about three hours, our number was finally called, and Ann walked up to the counter and stated in English that she was visiting for the year and wanted to extend her 3 month tourist visa that she received upon entering the country. The bureaucrat behind the window at the counter was extremely rude to her and was telling her that she couldn't do it when I interrupted in Hebrew and started making a big deal about being a professor at the university and bringing my family here. I did it Israeli style, raising my voice and gesticulating wildly. This is considered acceptable behavior here, and in fact, is quite necessary in government offices.
The man asked me, "who are you?" in a somewhat threatening tone. I explained who I was and who Ann was, and he asked if Ann was Jewish. I said that she was. He asked me to prove it. Now, if Ann were a guy, I suppose there would be one approach I could take, but given that she is of the fairer gender, I wasn't sure what he meant. So, I said that no woman in America would know how to read Hebrew if she weren't Jewish, so here, test her. See that she can read Hebrew. He said that he need documented proof that she is Jewish. I asked him why it mattered. Couldn't a professor with a non-Jewish wife come to Israel? But anyway, she is Jewish, I said, realizing that I might have over-estimated my skills at talking my way out of situations with that last comment. The bureaucrat (whose name ironically also happens to be Aviel) told me that I needed a certified letter from our rabbi in the States certifying that Ann is Jewish, and that her parents are Jewish and that she is from a Jewish blood line. Otherwise, he said, there is a process they can use to get her a visa that is long and laborious, and can take over two months, and we might not get the visa in time before her 3 months expired, especially with the country about to go into hibernation for a month due to the upcoming high holidays.
To get the letter certified, we were told by the lesser Aviel, we need to go to the Jewish agency on Hashmonai Rd with the letter from the rabbi, a marriage document showing that we had a Jewish wedding, and any other documented proof that we can produce that she is Jewish, and after they certify the letter, come back, and she can get her visa. As we were standing around absorbing this, a nice young woman standing next to me said, "Don't do it." It was like the opposite of a Nike commercial. Don't do what, I asked? Don't go to that Jewish agency. I waited there for hours, and in the end I never got the letter. Here's what you do. I found this woman named Debbie who works at a special agency in Jerusalem that stamps these letters for you, and she will do it with no questions asked. Here's her cell number. I felt like I had just received the secret code to an underground society for breaking through the Israeli bureaucracy. I asked her how much Debbie charges, and she said it was free.
Armed with this secret phone number, I felt less intimidated by the lesser Aviel, who reappeared and told me that there may be a faster way we can do this, but it will cost us a lot of money. He said for 355 shekels each, he can get me the visas for Ann and the kids, but he said it was a lot of money, and we're better off getting the documents he suggested. I quickly calculated that this is about $340 US. I couldn't tell if it was a bribe he was asking for or just some kind of process that is expedited with money, but I jumped on it and said that I would pay it in cash and be done with this. He then asked me if we were moving to Israel permanently, and I felt it was a trick question. I said that we were here for a year, and then we would see. It was the best I could come up with at the time, and at this point, I was certain that I am the worst in the world at thinking on my feet and talking my way out of tricky situations. He came back about 20 minutes later with his boss (we were closing in on 4 hours at the ministry of interior) and said that there was a problem. Since I am an Israeli, my kids are Israeli too. So, they cannot be issued visas. In order to leave Israel, they need to be registered as Israeli citizens, which can be done at some crazy limited hours, and for that we need their original birth certificates and American passports. Furthermore, Ann cannot get a visa extension without proving she is Jewish, which can only be done by a signed, certified letter from the office of the controllers of who is Jewish.
We left the ministry of interior dejected with our tails between our legs, having accomplished absolutely nothing, except for setting various flags in some internal Israeli database that will prevent my children from being able to leave this country without 20 more hours of bureaucracy. The way the ministers behave, it's as though they are on reverse-commission, where their salary increases with every application they deny. The booming voice of the director of the Fulbright Israel program echoed in my head. Do not dare go to the ministry of interior alone. Do not dare go to the ministry of interior alone. Oy, why can't I listen?!?
I called this secret Debbie woman, and although she was not available, the person who answered said that she could help. All I needed to do was get a letter from the Rabbi in the US, and take it to their office in Jerusalem, and they would stamp it. I asked if they had an office in Tel Aviv, and they said that they did, but they did not know the address. I asked what their organization was called, and she said it was the Jewish Agency for Israel. Oy, a special trip to Jerusalem to get a letter certified to prove that Ann is Jewish. I felt like I was living in bizzaro land.
When I got home, I wrote to my Rabbi and asked for the letter, describing in great detail the extent to which it had to state that Ann was Jewish. I also sent an email to the person renting our house with detailed instructions of how to dig through boxes and files in our basement to find original birth certificates for the kids, marriage certificates in Hebrew and English for me and Ann, and to send these to us as quickly as possible. Happily, we received a letter that made Ann sound more Jewish than Abraham and the official documents in the mail a few days later. We have the best renters!
Once I was armed with the documents, I wrote to my host at Tel Aviv University (TAU) asking if he can introduce me to someone that can help with the visa issue. He pointed me to his secretary who told me that all I had to do was bring in our passports, and she would take care of it. I was very happy and excited and told Ann that our troubles were over. We now had פרותקציה! (which is a Hebrew term for someone who has a powerful person backing them) I brought in the passports, and she scanned them and sent them to some other office at TAU. That afternoon, the secretary calls to tell me that the issue of our visas is a bit more complicated, and that I need to speak to this woman Hava at the main university office for visas. Well, I was not thrilled that I had more to do, but at least I had finally reached the person who was going to make all this go away. Now Hava does not work on Tuesdays, and given that this was a Monday afternoon, Hava suggested that I come see her on Wednesday.
On Wednesday, I went to see Hava, who was very nice and friendly. She told me that it took her four years to develop an inside connection at the ministry of interior. All I had to do was take this letter that she was producing for me, and follow these 12 items on a special checklist she had, and Ann would be given an A-4 visa. I said that I had heard that what Ann needed was to extend her tourist visa, and Hava told me that this is where I had gone wrong. Also, Hava said that the kids are Israeli, and we would have to get them registered as citizens and Israeli passports. I asked Hava if she could come with us because after all the Fulbright people had told us not to dare go to the ministry of interior without being accompanied by someone from the university. Hava responded with a lecture about the Fulbright people and their expectations, and that I was a grown up and could go there on my own. She gave me instructions for finding her mole within the department of interior, and she even called her up and set an appointment for us for Sunday morning. It looked like there might be a light at the end of the tunnel after all.
Sunday morning, I woke up with a mixture of dread and excitement. Would the story really end today? Would Ann get her A-4 visa, and would the kids become real Israelis with passports? Ann and I walked Elana and Benny to school. Tamara wasn't feeling that well, so she didn't go to school and we dragged her along to the ministry of interior. We made it through security and headed down the hall to room #13 to meet with our secret bureaucrat. We were greeted with what I'll describe as latent hostility. I felt she was looking for a reason to make us miserable. She quickly found one. As soon as I explained who we were, she went on a tirade about Hava and the university people misunderstanding all of their procedures. She told me that Ann is not eligible for an A-4 visa because I am an Israeli. I did not follow the logic there, nor did I care to. What we needed to do was go to the other room (where Aviel works at the window) and take a number and get an extended tourist visa. Something primal ignited inside me, and I felt I was going to lose it. With forced calmness I said through gritted teeth that we had tried that road, and that I thought the connection with the university might lead to a better path, but that going through that window was not going to get us what we needed. So, she led me to the window and got into a heated discussion with Aviel about us. In the end, the lesser Aviel turned to me and asked why I'm complicating everyone's life. He told me what I needed to do last time and even got his boss involved. Do I have the letter from the rabbi? Yes? Okay, is it certified? No?!? Well, go to the ministry of controlling who is Jewish and get it certified. I said that I heard that this is a terrible, lengthy process, and he said (more like yelled) are you kidding? It's 5 minutes. Walk over there, it's around the corner, and you can get it certified, in 20 minutes you are back here, and your wife gets her 12 month tourist visa. It's easy!
My heart sank. Maybe we should just take a vacation outside of Israel every 2 1/2 months. Cypress can be nice. Maybe Italy? If we leave Israel and come back, then Ann gets a new 3 month visa each time. Of course, we'd have to leave the kids behind because they are not allowed out of the country without Isareli passports, but by the time we've been here 2 1/2 months, they should be able to fend for themselves, no? Okay, so we headed to the ministry of controlling who is Jewish. As Tamara was under the weather, rather than walk, I grabbed a cab. When I told the driver where we were going, he said, "it's right around the corner, why don't you just walk?" I told him that I was paying him, and that he should take me to that address because that's where I want to go, and I don't want to walk! I started to appreciate why Israelis are so impatient and yell all the time. If they have to deal with offices like the ministry of interior on a regular basis, that's justifiable cause for losing one's mind. We got to the address, and there is a sign outside the door. I can't believe my eyes. It is the Jewish Agency for Israel. The same secret society that Debbie from Jerusalem belongs to, and it's a 5 minute walk away. As Elana would say, OMG!!!
We go in, and they are very friendly. Very, very friendly, only there's one problem. The woman who certifies the letter from the synagogue is at a Rosh Hashana preparation party in Jerusalem and won't be back until Tuesday. But, if we leave the letter with them and copies of the letter from the university and copies of our marriage documents, they will stamp it and give it back to us on Tuesday, and we can get the visa after that.
We decided that since we were in the neighborhood, we would return to the ministry of interior and register the kids as Israelis and try to get their passports, at least Tamara's, since she was with us. We made the 5 minute walk back, and got a number and waited in line. It only took about 2 hours, but we eventually got the kids registered. That is, until the woman helping us asked if we had any proof that Ann is Jewish. I said I had a letter from the synagogue. She asked if it was certified. I said that it was in the process of being certified. So, she asks to see it. The problem is, that we left it at the Jewish Agency for Israel. Oh, okay, then I can start the process but I have to leave the kids' religion as "pending examination" because I need to see that the mother is Jewish before they can be considered Jewish. Fine. She said that once we get the certified letter and give it to Aviel in the other office, we should tell him to give her the letter so she can update the database that the kids are Jewish. In the meantime, we registered the kids successfully and applied for Tamara's passport, which would be ready for pickup in 2 days.
Two days later, and Ann and I awake and exchange nervous looks. What adventures will the ministry of interior have for us today? Would the Jewish Agency for Israel have the stamped letter? Would Ann finally get her visa? By this point the kids are walking themselves to school, so Ann and I take a bus downtown to the city hall. My aim is to obtain a parking sticker, which will allow us to park cheaply in designated spots in Tel Aviv and gives a 50% discount in municipal parking lots. The sticker gives you free parking at many beaches as well. The story of my dealings with the city bureaucracy for this sticker rivals the visa story, only on a smaller scale. I'm going to spare you the details because it's really not that interesting, and because recalling the experience might drive me to tears. While we were in the middle of one of the less pleasant stages of my discussions with the city bureaucrats, I received a call from the Jewish Agency saying that we should hurry up and go there to pick up Ann's certified document stating she was Jewish because the ministry of interior closes at noon, in one hour, and it won't open again for five days due to Rosh Hashana. I had come far enough along getting my parking sticker, that I did not want to leave, so Ann went out on her own, grabbed a cab and went to the Jewish Agency. When she arrived there, the woman asked her for her papers. The problem, Ann explained, was that we had left the papers with them. She was bracing for another Israel bureaucracy moment, but the woman found the papers. But, nothing was prepared, and the clock was ticking. Ann explained the urgency, and the Jewish Agency woman went to work, trying to prepare the certified document in time.
At 11:40 I finally got my parking sticker, and I jumped in a cab and called Ann. My call came in as she was walking briskly (in 95 degree weather) from the Jewish Agency back to the ministry of interior, carrying certified proof of her religious identity. I arrived at the ministry offices a few minutes after Ann, who was dutifully filling out the B-2 visa form. How we ended up with a B-2, I have no idea. By now, we had filled out forms for every permutation of letters and numbers in the English and Hebrew alphabets, and Ann had become quite adept at it. The lesser Aviel seemed very pleased with Ann and much friendlier, and she believed it was because he was finally convinced she was Jewish. While Ann filled out forms, I made copies of everything, and set out in search of the woman who had registered the kids as Israeli, so that I could remove the "pending verification" from their Jewish identities. I did not see her, so I got in the line for passport retrieval and 20 minutes later, I had Tamara's Israeli passport in my hand, and Ann had completed the paperwork for her visa. Sadly, a line had formed in front of her, and she was waiting to speak with Aviel again. I went back in search of the woman who could mark my kids as Jewish, and this time I found her. She remembered me, and dutifully pulled out their charts, pecked away at her computer and declared that Israel now officially considered my three children as Jewish. With that proclamation, any doubt I had been harboring about the religion of my children went out the window. Now all that is left to do is to bring Benny and Elana in and to apply for their Israeli passports. This can be done on Mondays and Wednesdays from 2:30 - 5:30 pm.
Aviel accepted all of the paperwork from Ann, issued her visa, affixed it to the passport and started cracking jokes with me. At that moment, I really loved the guy. I reached under the glass divide and offered my hand, which he shook warmly. We were best of friends, after all, we had done battle together and both came out victorious. As we were leaving, I heard the faint sound of Aviel telling the next guy in line that his paperwork was all wrong, that he had to go to the whatever office and get certified this or that because… I glanced back at the poor soul, and while I felt sorry for him, I couldn't help but feel that in approximately one month, when he gets it all straightened out, he will feel as good as I feel at this moment, and he will share a special moment with Aviel. I was the graduating senior looking at the poor, naive incoming freshman with nostalgia; the seasoned war veteran witnessing the fresh new recruit, still wet behind the ears.
Finally, Ann has her B-2 visa, good until September of 2011, with re-entry privileges, and the kids are all registered as Jewish Israelis. This chapter ended today at 1:15 pm, exactly 3 weeks from our arrival in the Jewish homeland. I love this country, and I think it's a great place to visit. But if you are not Israeli, and you want to come for more than 3 months, you will probably have to deal with the ministry of interior. And, I don't envy you one bit!
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Day 15
Summer vacation ended today, and all across Israel children swarmed the neighborhoods around 7:30 a.m. towards their local schools for their first day. It is a day that our kids anticipated with anxiety and even some dread for three months, especially Elana. She's been a real trooper so far, but it's got to be completely intimidating to go to a new school as a tweenager where none of the kids really speak English, and at an age where the girls tend to be cliquy and often mean, and the boys have cooties. The twins each had a lucky break. We were introduced through the school to a family who moved here from the States last year. The mom is Israeli, but the kids grew up in New York and had to make the same adjustment our kids are making this year. One of the daughters, Maya, is in Tamara's class, and they had a play date yesterday. We were thrilled to see that when we arrived at Tamara's class, Maya was saving her a seat. This made all the difference on Tamara's first day.
Benny is not at all self-conscious. I don't know where he gets his self confidence, even cockiness, and he was not nervous heading to the school. But when we got to his classroom, he observed that all of the kids already knew each other and that none of them spoke any English. He looked at me and said that he didn't know how he was going to play with anyone. I reassured him and found a seat for him in the back at a two-person desk. I stayed with him as the room filled up, and for the first time ever, I saw Benny look uncomfortable. Right before the opening bell, a woman came in with a boy and he sat next to Benny in one of the only remaining seats. The mom tried to introduce her son to Benny, and I interrupted saying that Benny did not speak Hebrew. She lit up and said that they were new here, and that they had just moved here from Argentina. The son spoke Hebrew because they are Israeli and spoke it at home, but he did not know how to read and write (Benny knows how to read and write but can't really speak it - a perfect match). However, the boy also speaks English. He probably studied at an American school in Argentina. So, he and Benny were off to the races, and by the time I left, they were engaged in a deep conversation in a language that is completely foreign to me, about something called pokemon. When we picked the kids up from school, Benny was describing his three best friends to us. Of course the Argentinian was one of them, but was not his best-best friend, of course. Looks like his adjustment didn't take long.
On our way out after we dropped them off, I poked my head into Elana's classroom. She was sitting at a desk by herself, while the other kids were in small clusters yapping away in Hebrew. Unfortunately, we did not encounter any English speaking kids in her class, and her teacher indicated to me that she did not know of any. The teacher made an effort to get Elana to know some other children. She had a couple of the girls stop by our place yesterday and pick up Elana for an event. They also walked her back, but unfortunately, they did not have a common language to communicate. She's very brave, and I think has a good attitude about school. I just think it's going to require some patience before she makes friends and feels comfortable there. After school, Elana said that some of the kids helped her out and were very nice to her, but she had no idea what her homework was supposed to be. She said she felt pretty lost. It will take time. We hired a tutor who used to teach at the school to help the kids 3 days a week for an hour each. I think the tutor will make all the difference.
I observed that most kids who are old enough to walk in Israel have their own cell phone. They are assigned a cellular phone number at birth and given a SIM card for their first birthday. Given that most kids over the age of 10 wander the streets in the barrio (wait, wrong country) alone, it makes sense. In fact, Elana and Tamara walk home alone from the tutor's house already. A couple of days ago, Elana attended a meeting for the incoming 6th grade class and was quick to point out to me that every single one of them had a cell phone, and they knew how to use it. It's not clear they knew how not to use it. I'm not one to get my kids something just because every other kid has it, but we decided to get Elana a cell phone despite the fact that she was the only one without one, and I thought it would be a nice surprise for her after her first day of school, which I expected to be a rough experience for her, but which actually turned out not so bad.
I can think of few experiences in life that I have had that confused me more than my three attempts to acquire this phone. At the cell phone store, I was given a plethora of choices, none of which appeared to be written down anywhere. The conversation was right out of the "Who's on first?" script. This is how many minutes? No, you have to pay for the minutes, but if I pay for the minutes how many do I get? You don't get any minutes. But I thought you said… Look, you pay 100 shekels per month and then you pay 60 cents per minute except for the included minutes. How many minutes are included? None. Why did you say I could get it except for the included minutes? Because that's not the kind of plan that you are signing up for. I don't even know what plan I'm signing up for yet. Well, then why are you giving me such a hard time? It's simple. You pay 149 shekels/month… I thought you said it was 100/month. That's with the other plan. What other plan? The one that you decided to get. But I haven't made any decisions yet. I don't even understand what my options are. And I had this conversation or some variation of it at three different phone places. The clinchers as that in the end, I said I just wanted any plan, I didn't care, just sell me a phone. And, they said they only take Israeli credit cards, which sadly, I do not have. They tried my visa and it didn't work. They won't take cash or checks (not that we have any checks). Just Israeli credit cards, so I walked away empty handed. At the next place, they wanted a 3,000 shekel deposit (which is to be fully refunded in 6 months) if I use a foreign credit card. I told them that I didn't care what it cost me or how many minutes I got or how many deposits I had to leave, I just want a damn cell phone for my daughter. Anyway, Elana now has a phone, and I'm quite a bit poorer. How much poorer, I have no idea.
When not trying to negotiate with Israelis, it's interesting to observe the demographics at the school. Here in Israel, very few children go to private schools. Kids are assigned to their local neighborhood school, and for the most part, that's what they attend. In some instances they appeal to other neighborhoods for various reasons, but that is the exception. So, you get a wide mix of people all studying together. While Ann and I are accustomed to the relatively homogeneous collection of Krieger Schechter parents back home, here, our children are sharing their classrooms with children of clerks, waiters, doctors, lawyers, the rich elite and the struggling lower class. Although the neighborhood is one of the more upscale and affluent ones in the country, there are still plenty of less well to do families as well, and Ann and I were keenly aware of the wide and variable mix of people among the other parents. Some had tattoos and wore ragged clothing, while others looked more dignified and wore cleaner shorts and T-shirts. There was not a single tie to be seen, and I don't remember even seeing a button down shirt. Israel is very casual. One of the great social equalizers in Israel is the army, in which everybody serves regardless of financial, academic or cultural background, and as a result, I think there is less of a sense of class here than in other places. The diversity is not only economic. There were a number of black students too, and they blended right in socially, as far as I could tell. This is a big change from when I was a kid in Israel and did not see anyone of African descent until we moved to the State when I was almost 9 years old.
A couple of evenings ago, I attended a meeting between the 6th grade teacher and the parents of the 6th graders. In Israel, the teacher usually sticks with a class for several years, so the 6th grade teacher taught this group of kids in 5th grade and knows them all well. She introduced me to the room because apparently, Elana is the only new student in the class this year. I said a few words about who I was and about Elana and hoped that one of the parents would tell me later that their child speaks English, but it was not to be. The most interesting thing to me about the meeting was the interaction among the parents and the teacher. Anytime the teacher said something that someone disagreed with (that is to say, anytime she opened her mouth), the parents would start to yell, and then they would yell at each other, and several times it got so crazy that I think I was the only one in the room not yelling. The teacher tried to gain control of the room, but was not always successful. I wondered if this is how she manages the classroom with the parents, how is she going to handle the kids?
Let me give another example that illustrates the way Israelis relate to people. I had an experience that I felt was so typical of the personalities here, that I could almost hear my Mom's voice in the back of my head saying "only in Israel!", an expression that my parents love, and it's also the title of a popular Hebrew song (Rak-beYisrael). So, here's what happened. I took Benny to get a haircut. Only once before has Ann entrusted me with such an important mission, and she gave me several stern warnings as I left the apartment. I got to the kids' haircut place, which is next door to our building, and I was told that they would be right with me. As time went on, more kids came in, and they sat right in the seat and got haircuts. After about 10 minutes, I went up to one of the people working there and stated that we were told they would be right with us, but that other people are walking in and getting served right away. I was told to have patience and they would be right with us. Meanwhile, he asks me where I'm from and I say I just got here from the States. And what are you doing here? I'm a visiting professor at Tel Aviv University. And so on for a while. Then he finished the haircut he was giving and called Benny over. He didn't ask me what I wanted, so I explained that I wanted it short but not too short, kind of like my hair.
He looked at me and said that he wouldn't do that to this poor kid. I think he meant it. Next, he pulls out the clippers and starts shaving away big swaths of hair. So, I asked him if he could please use scissors instead. He gives me a look of complete ridicule and exclaims in a loud, indignant voice: "Now the professor is telling me how to cut hair?" He snorts and proceeds with the clippers to practically shave Benny's head muttering under his breath about how I'm now the big expert on haircuts. Needless to say Ann was none too pleased when I got home and swore to never let me take the kids for haircuts again. The girls immediately vowed not to have their hair cut until we get back to Baltimore.
We've now been here 15 days, and we've come a long way towards getting settled in. I started work on Sunday at the university. The work week is Sunday-Thursday. Friday is usually a short day, and Saturday is the only full day off. I now have an office, a computer and several interesting colleagues to work with. Classes don't start at the university until October, due to the holidays, but many people are around, so there is plenty to do. I'm finding the time difference much harder to deal with than I expected. By late afternoon, around 4 pm, I've already put in almost a full day, and back home it's 9 a.m. and people are starting to work. Around 5 or 6 pm, I start to get a lot of work-related email, just when I'm getting ready to go home. In the evening, I find myself handling email, making conference calls through Skype, and basically having another work day. On Monday, for example, after a day at the office, I had a conference call at 10 pm, one at 10:45, and another spontaneous work-related call at 11:15 pm that lasted until almost midnight. I'm used to going to bed around 10 or 10:30 and waking up early. In fact, I'm still waking up between 5 and 6 a.m. here, and by the evening, I'm completely wiped out, and that's when the most action is going on back home. I'm not as good at juggling this as I thought I would be. I like getting an early start to the day. I joined a gym near our building, and I've been working out there every morning, except on the days that I go running. A friend of mine who lives here, Benny Pinkas, runs an annual 10k race every October, and he convinced me to train for it and run with him, so I've started jogging down to the beach and running along the boardwalk. It's beautiful. After I get home, shower and eat, I'm ready to go to work, and I get there around 9 a.m. It occurred to me that I would be better off shifting my entire schedule so that I go into work in the early afternoon, and then work very late, to coordinate with Eastern time, but I can't help waking up early, and I want to be around the university when the other people are there. Also, in the evening, the kids will have homework they'll need help with, piano practice, and I want to spend time with the family. So, even though I've been at work less than a week here, I'm already feeling exhaustion and pressure. When 4 pm comes around and email starts to flood in, my blood pressure goes up. I'll have to find a better way to deal with this.
One thing I love here is my commute. In Baltimore, I have about a 30 minute drive to work, which can also last over an hour during rush hour. And, it's a relatively unpleasant drive. Here, I have several choices, and I've tried each of them already this week. The first choice is walking, in which case, I have a lovely 20-25 minute walk, mostly through parks and quiet neighborhoods. I can also drive in about 4-5 minutes, depending on the lights. I was given a parking permit, and thee are plenty of spots in the university lot (that might change once classes start), or I can take the bus, which runs every few minutes and takes me about 12 minutes door to door, including a bit of walking on each end. I think this commute is up there as one of my favorite things about Israel.
Finally, I'd like to say a few words about how welcoming the community is here. We've been invited to dinners at peoples houses, to the beach, and just to hang out. I think our social calendar here so far is more active than it typically is back home; we've already received conflicting invitations for dinner this weekend. In the next week, we've got a party Saturday night at someone's house, plans for Shabbat dinner and for the second night of Rosh Hashana, and some prospects for the first night as well. Between my job, the kids' school, the kids' tutoring, piano lessons (more on that another time - we found an amazing piano teacher), Benny's soccer (he is going to start training with the Maccabi Tel Aviv youth soccer program tomorrow and twice a week for a total of 3 hours/week for 10 months!), homework, and piano practicing, there is little time in the day to catch our breaths.
A friend of mine described Israelis as the sabra (cactus) fruit. Hard and prickly on the outside and soft and mushy on the inside. I think it's a prefect description.
Benny is not at all self-conscious. I don't know where he gets his self confidence, even cockiness, and he was not nervous heading to the school. But when we got to his classroom, he observed that all of the kids already knew each other and that none of them spoke any English. He looked at me and said that he didn't know how he was going to play with anyone. I reassured him and found a seat for him in the back at a two-person desk. I stayed with him as the room filled up, and for the first time ever, I saw Benny look uncomfortable. Right before the opening bell, a woman came in with a boy and he sat next to Benny in one of the only remaining seats. The mom tried to introduce her son to Benny, and I interrupted saying that Benny did not speak Hebrew. She lit up and said that they were new here, and that they had just moved here from Argentina. The son spoke Hebrew because they are Israeli and spoke it at home, but he did not know how to read and write (Benny knows how to read and write but can't really speak it - a perfect match). However, the boy also speaks English. He probably studied at an American school in Argentina. So, he and Benny were off to the races, and by the time I left, they were engaged in a deep conversation in a language that is completely foreign to me, about something called pokemon. When we picked the kids up from school, Benny was describing his three best friends to us. Of course the Argentinian was one of them, but was not his best-best friend, of course. Looks like his adjustment didn't take long.
On our way out after we dropped them off, I poked my head into Elana's classroom. She was sitting at a desk by herself, while the other kids were in small clusters yapping away in Hebrew. Unfortunately, we did not encounter any English speaking kids in her class, and her teacher indicated to me that she did not know of any. The teacher made an effort to get Elana to know some other children. She had a couple of the girls stop by our place yesterday and pick up Elana for an event. They also walked her back, but unfortunately, they did not have a common language to communicate. She's very brave, and I think has a good attitude about school. I just think it's going to require some patience before she makes friends and feels comfortable there. After school, Elana said that some of the kids helped her out and were very nice to her, but she had no idea what her homework was supposed to be. She said she felt pretty lost. It will take time. We hired a tutor who used to teach at the school to help the kids 3 days a week for an hour each. I think the tutor will make all the difference.
I observed that most kids who are old enough to walk in Israel have their own cell phone. They are assigned a cellular phone number at birth and given a SIM card for their first birthday. Given that most kids over the age of 10 wander the streets in the barrio (wait, wrong country) alone, it makes sense. In fact, Elana and Tamara walk home alone from the tutor's house already. A couple of days ago, Elana attended a meeting for the incoming 6th grade class and was quick to point out to me that every single one of them had a cell phone, and they knew how to use it. It's not clear they knew how not to use it. I'm not one to get my kids something just because every other kid has it, but we decided to get Elana a cell phone despite the fact that she was the only one without one, and I thought it would be a nice surprise for her after her first day of school, which I expected to be a rough experience for her, but which actually turned out not so bad.
I can think of few experiences in life that I have had that confused me more than my three attempts to acquire this phone. At the cell phone store, I was given a plethora of choices, none of which appeared to be written down anywhere. The conversation was right out of the "Who's on first?" script. This is how many minutes? No, you have to pay for the minutes, but if I pay for the minutes how many do I get? You don't get any minutes. But I thought you said… Look, you pay 100 shekels per month and then you pay 60 cents per minute except for the included minutes. How many minutes are included? None. Why did you say I could get it except for the included minutes? Because that's not the kind of plan that you are signing up for. I don't even know what plan I'm signing up for yet. Well, then why are you giving me such a hard time? It's simple. You pay 149 shekels/month… I thought you said it was 100/month. That's with the other plan. What other plan? The one that you decided to get. But I haven't made any decisions yet. I don't even understand what my options are. And I had this conversation or some variation of it at three different phone places. The clinchers as that in the end, I said I just wanted any plan, I didn't care, just sell me a phone. And, they said they only take Israeli credit cards, which sadly, I do not have. They tried my visa and it didn't work. They won't take cash or checks (not that we have any checks). Just Israeli credit cards, so I walked away empty handed. At the next place, they wanted a 3,000 shekel deposit (which is to be fully refunded in 6 months) if I use a foreign credit card. I told them that I didn't care what it cost me or how many minutes I got or how many deposits I had to leave, I just want a damn cell phone for my daughter. Anyway, Elana now has a phone, and I'm quite a bit poorer. How much poorer, I have no idea.
When not trying to negotiate with Israelis, it's interesting to observe the demographics at the school. Here in Israel, very few children go to private schools. Kids are assigned to their local neighborhood school, and for the most part, that's what they attend. In some instances they appeal to other neighborhoods for various reasons, but that is the exception. So, you get a wide mix of people all studying together. While Ann and I are accustomed to the relatively homogeneous collection of Krieger Schechter parents back home, here, our children are sharing their classrooms with children of clerks, waiters, doctors, lawyers, the rich elite and the struggling lower class. Although the neighborhood is one of the more upscale and affluent ones in the country, there are still plenty of less well to do families as well, and Ann and I were keenly aware of the wide and variable mix of people among the other parents. Some had tattoos and wore ragged clothing, while others looked more dignified and wore cleaner shorts and T-shirts. There was not a single tie to be seen, and I don't remember even seeing a button down shirt. Israel is very casual. One of the great social equalizers in Israel is the army, in which everybody serves regardless of financial, academic or cultural background, and as a result, I think there is less of a sense of class here than in other places. The diversity is not only economic. There were a number of black students too, and they blended right in socially, as far as I could tell. This is a big change from when I was a kid in Israel and did not see anyone of African descent until we moved to the State when I was almost 9 years old.
A couple of evenings ago, I attended a meeting between the 6th grade teacher and the parents of the 6th graders. In Israel, the teacher usually sticks with a class for several years, so the 6th grade teacher taught this group of kids in 5th grade and knows them all well. She introduced me to the room because apparently, Elana is the only new student in the class this year. I said a few words about who I was and about Elana and hoped that one of the parents would tell me later that their child speaks English, but it was not to be. The most interesting thing to me about the meeting was the interaction among the parents and the teacher. Anytime the teacher said something that someone disagreed with (that is to say, anytime she opened her mouth), the parents would start to yell, and then they would yell at each other, and several times it got so crazy that I think I was the only one in the room not yelling. The teacher tried to gain control of the room, but was not always successful. I wondered if this is how she manages the classroom with the parents, how is she going to handle the kids?
Let me give another example that illustrates the way Israelis relate to people. I had an experience that I felt was so typical of the personalities here, that I could almost hear my Mom's voice in the back of my head saying "only in Israel!", an expression that my parents love, and it's also the title of a popular Hebrew song (Rak-beYisrael). So, here's what happened. I took Benny to get a haircut. Only once before has Ann entrusted me with such an important mission, and she gave me several stern warnings as I left the apartment. I got to the kids' haircut place, which is next door to our building, and I was told that they would be right with me. As time went on, more kids came in, and they sat right in the seat and got haircuts. After about 10 minutes, I went up to one of the people working there and stated that we were told they would be right with us, but that other people are walking in and getting served right away. I was told to have patience and they would be right with us. Meanwhile, he asks me where I'm from and I say I just got here from the States. And what are you doing here? I'm a visiting professor at Tel Aviv University. And so on for a while. Then he finished the haircut he was giving and called Benny over. He didn't ask me what I wanted, so I explained that I wanted it short but not too short, kind of like my hair.
He looked at me and said that he wouldn't do that to this poor kid. I think he meant it. Next, he pulls out the clippers and starts shaving away big swaths of hair. So, I asked him if he could please use scissors instead. He gives me a look of complete ridicule and exclaims in a loud, indignant voice: "Now the professor is telling me how to cut hair?" He snorts and proceeds with the clippers to practically shave Benny's head muttering under his breath about how I'm now the big expert on haircuts. Needless to say Ann was none too pleased when I got home and swore to never let me take the kids for haircuts again. The girls immediately vowed not to have their hair cut until we get back to Baltimore.
We've now been here 15 days, and we've come a long way towards getting settled in. I started work on Sunday at the university. The work week is Sunday-Thursday. Friday is usually a short day, and Saturday is the only full day off. I now have an office, a computer and several interesting colleagues to work with. Classes don't start at the university until October, due to the holidays, but many people are around, so there is plenty to do. I'm finding the time difference much harder to deal with than I expected. By late afternoon, around 4 pm, I've already put in almost a full day, and back home it's 9 a.m. and people are starting to work. Around 5 or 6 pm, I start to get a lot of work-related email, just when I'm getting ready to go home. In the evening, I find myself handling email, making conference calls through Skype, and basically having another work day. On Monday, for example, after a day at the office, I had a conference call at 10 pm, one at 10:45, and another spontaneous work-related call at 11:15 pm that lasted until almost midnight. I'm used to going to bed around 10 or 10:30 and waking up early. In fact, I'm still waking up between 5 and 6 a.m. here, and by the evening, I'm completely wiped out, and that's when the most action is going on back home. I'm not as good at juggling this as I thought I would be. I like getting an early start to the day. I joined a gym near our building, and I've been working out there every morning, except on the days that I go running. A friend of mine who lives here, Benny Pinkas, runs an annual 10k race every October, and he convinced me to train for it and run with him, so I've started jogging down to the beach and running along the boardwalk. It's beautiful. After I get home, shower and eat, I'm ready to go to work, and I get there around 9 a.m. It occurred to me that I would be better off shifting my entire schedule so that I go into work in the early afternoon, and then work very late, to coordinate with Eastern time, but I can't help waking up early, and I want to be around the university when the other people are there. Also, in the evening, the kids will have homework they'll need help with, piano practice, and I want to spend time with the family. So, even though I've been at work less than a week here, I'm already feeling exhaustion and pressure. When 4 pm comes around and email starts to flood in, my blood pressure goes up. I'll have to find a better way to deal with this.
One thing I love here is my commute. In Baltimore, I have about a 30 minute drive to work, which can also last over an hour during rush hour. And, it's a relatively unpleasant drive. Here, I have several choices, and I've tried each of them already this week. The first choice is walking, in which case, I have a lovely 20-25 minute walk, mostly through parks and quiet neighborhoods. I can also drive in about 4-5 minutes, depending on the lights. I was given a parking permit, and thee are plenty of spots in the university lot (that might change once classes start), or I can take the bus, which runs every few minutes and takes me about 12 minutes door to door, including a bit of walking on each end. I think this commute is up there as one of my favorite things about Israel.
Finally, I'd like to say a few words about how welcoming the community is here. We've been invited to dinners at peoples houses, to the beach, and just to hang out. I think our social calendar here so far is more active than it typically is back home; we've already received conflicting invitations for dinner this weekend. In the next week, we've got a party Saturday night at someone's house, plans for Shabbat dinner and for the second night of Rosh Hashana, and some prospects for the first night as well. Between my job, the kids' school, the kids' tutoring, piano lessons (more on that another time - we found an amazing piano teacher), Benny's soccer (he is going to start training with the Maccabi Tel Aviv youth soccer program tomorrow and twice a week for a total of 3 hours/week for 10 months!), homework, and piano practicing, there is little time in the day to catch our breaths.
A friend of mine described Israelis as the sabra (cactus) fruit. Hard and prickly on the outside and soft and mushy on the inside. I think it's a prefect description.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Israel - the first six days
This is our sixth day in Israel, and after almost a week, I'd like to write down some thoughts and observations.
First of all, Wow!
I really don't know where to start. The first week has been all about getting acclimated and settling in. This was complicated by the fact that on the second day, I developed a painful crick in my neck, and so I was quite limited physically. It might have had something to do with an 18 hour trip with 15 suitcases and 3 kids.
My first major observation is that the adage that you can get by on English in Israel and that "everybody speaks English there" is simply wrong. This was evident, for example, when I tried to get a car. I did some research from the States and tried to contact several rental companies, but I got nowhere. So, I decided to wait until I arrived in Israel. Once I got here, I called around for prices and found that you can negotiate quite a bit, and in fact, you have to. That's definitely a universal theme here. Ultimately, I got a deal for 10 1/2 month rental. It's not much of a car, but it gets me from A to B (aleph to bet?) and it fits the entire family. Looking back, there is no way I could have pulled this off without being fluent in Hebrew. In fact, if my Hebrew were better, I probably would be driving a nicer car now at a lower price.
I've had to deal a bit with various local and national government offices, and I am certain that my ability to speak Hebrew is the only reason that the experience was only "painful" instead of impossible. I have had numerous experiences in less than a week that simply could not have occurred without my knowledge of the language. One scenario that has played out several times is when we're in a crowded food court at the mall or near the beach, and people are pushing and shoving, and the guys taking the orders are trying to rush everyone. It's a hectic enough situation for native speakers. Those with less fluency left to fend for themselves in English or broken Hebrew simply cannot compete. My observation has been reenforced at the grocery store, the pharmacy, on buses, and interacting with people on the street. I'm sure that if I did not speak a single word of Hebrew, we could still do this Sabbatical trip, but I believe we would not have accomplished even 10% of what we've done so far getting settled here. Most phone numbers that you call (e.g. pizza delivery, government offices, voicemail, etc) send you directly into an automated phone menu in Hebrew. So, it's pretty useless for Ann to try to make calls, even if the person who ultimately answers the phone is friendly (likelihood = 25%) and speaks English (likelihood 75%).
Our luckiest break came before we even got here. We have these amazing friends, Sharon & Zvi Geva, who used to live in Baltimore and who now live outside of Tel Aviv. (I recommend that everyone who wants to come to Israel find such friends - actually, even if you don't come to Isarel you should try to find such friends.) They found our apartment for us, dealt with some banking issues for us, registered our kids in the neighborhood school, and basically did a lot of the ground work that we were not able to do from abroad. It's also been great catching up with them here, as we haven't seen them in 2 years. Without the Gevas, we'd probably still be in some hotel desperately looking for housing that meets our long list of requirements. The apartment they found us is gorgeous, with an incredible view of the ocean, a 20 minute walk to the beach, a 20-25 minute walk to my office, and easy bus connectivity to everywhere. It's taken us a while to figure out how everything in the apartment works - everything is different, and not just the voltage. We were challenged by the laundry machines, the TV, the air conditioning units, the lighting, the alarm (insurance policy *requires* that we set the alarm whenever we leave the house), codes for entering the front door, the rear door (different codes), and thin, slow elevators that aren't very friendly to someone as claustrophobic as I am. At first, we couldn't get the hot water to work, the toilets to flush hard (hint: push the lever twice), or the oven to turn on.
But, we've pretty much conquered all of these.
One thing I'm very happy with is the cell phone & Internet service. I highly recommend that anyone who visits Israel follow the steps I'll describe. First, before I left home, I jailbroke and unlocked my iPhone and ordered Israeli SIM cards from an online site. When our plane landed at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, I popped out the AT&T SIM card and inserted the Israeli one. Turned on the phone, and voila, it worked. Then, I activated Internet service (129 shekels/month), and I was online with 3G service that is faster than AT&T's network in the States. Now, I've found an incredible use for this. Whenever I go somewhere on a bus, I enter the destination into the Maps app on my iPhone, and then I watch as the GPS tracks my location on the map on my phone as the blue dot representing my current location moves towards the destination. In the old days when I traveled in other countries, I was always stressed out about getting off the bus at the right time, missing my stop, or getting completely lost. So far, tracking the bus route on my iPhone GPS until I get close to my stop has taken all of the excitement (that I could do without) out of the experience. And, once I get off the bus, the GPS on the phone guides me right to my final destination. What a pleasure! Also, the Internet service in my apartment is 10Mbps bidirectional, which means that Skype and iChat work great.
Grocery shopping is a pleasure here. The nearest grocery store is just slightly further from our building than my mailbox is from my front door in Baltimore. You fill a cart with all of your selections, and then give them your grocery card at checkout. They have your home address on file, linked to your grocery card, and after you pay, they ask you when you want your groceries delivered. If it's right away, then 5 minutes after you get home, they show up with everything and unload it in the kitchen. Sure beats shopping at Safeway in Owings Mills. Also, even at the local grocery store, all the breads, including the amazing pita breads, are fresh baked and blow away anything I have eaten in the States. Of course there is falafel and hummus everywhere. I think the food is better here. We haven't been to any find dining restaurants yet on this trip, but based on my experiences on prior visits, I believe they are as good as or better than the very best restaurants in Baltimore, and even rival those in New York. So, gastronomically speaking, Israel is a huge win.
While buying food is more convenient here, other supplies are much more difficult to come by. There is no Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond. We sometimes have to go to several stores that may be far apart to find simple supplies that would be in adjacent isles in a US department stores. I have yet to discover Israel's equivalent to amazon.com, and I've had bad luck in my attempts to purchase a printer/copier/scanner/fax. I think that I placed an order for one today, and that it will arrive within 14 business days, but I could be wrong.
We are not yet on a normal sleep schedule, but we're getting close. The kids are going to bed pretty late and sleeping in, but Elana has been up quite a bit during the night. I've been up at 4 a.m. most nights, and I usually fall back asleep after a couple of hours.
So, the adjustment is under way. Life is definitely more complicated here, but there are some real advantages. Ann registered for an intensive Hebrew language program downtown (Ulpan Gordon), and the kids start school on September 1. We've met Tamara's teacher, and we love her. Hopefully, Elana and Benny's teachers will be as good and as nice. We've heard good things about them from Tamara's teacher.
We are really looking forward to the High Holidays which start the week after the kids start school. I have not been in Israel for Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur since I was a kid. We're also really looking forward to Hanukkah and Passover here in Israel. I remember that these holidays in Israel are absolutely incredible. I'm especially looking forward to a year without all the Christmas music in the malls. If memory serves, you don't even know when it's Christmas here.
We have not had any time to be tourists yet, and we'll probably be caught up in many more organizational details until school starts, but eventually, we will take some time to visit the sites and take in the experiences here. I have also not yet pursued finding a soccer team to play on, and I have not followed my one lead for a regular poker game in Tel Aviv. I'd like for Ann to be more comfortable here before I get involved in activities outside the house. But hopefully, I'll be able to play some soccer and poker here on a regular basis. We did join a pool and health club that is a few hundred yards from our building, and the kids have already enjoyed swimming there twice, with the weather in the upper 90s.
I will try to blog at least once a month and to post updates on our experiences. Elana is also posting on her own blog. It's quite a daunting undertaking to capture all of this week's experiences in writing. Hopefully, I've painted a picture of what it's been like adjusting to life in Israel. Please keep in touch and send emails. It's always great whenever we hear from our friends back home. I can't believe we're actually living here.
First of all, Wow!
I really don't know where to start. The first week has been all about getting acclimated and settling in. This was complicated by the fact that on the second day, I developed a painful crick in my neck, and so I was quite limited physically. It might have had something to do with an 18 hour trip with 15 suitcases and 3 kids.
My first major observation is that the adage that you can get by on English in Israel and that "everybody speaks English there" is simply wrong. This was evident, for example, when I tried to get a car. I did some research from the States and tried to contact several rental companies, but I got nowhere. So, I decided to wait until I arrived in Israel. Once I got here, I called around for prices and found that you can negotiate quite a bit, and in fact, you have to. That's definitely a universal theme here. Ultimately, I got a deal for 10 1/2 month rental. It's not much of a car, but it gets me from A to B (aleph to bet?) and it fits the entire family. Looking back, there is no way I could have pulled this off without being fluent in Hebrew. In fact, if my Hebrew were better, I probably would be driving a nicer car now at a lower price.
I've had to deal a bit with various local and national government offices, and I am certain that my ability to speak Hebrew is the only reason that the experience was only "painful" instead of impossible. I have had numerous experiences in less than a week that simply could not have occurred without my knowledge of the language. One scenario that has played out several times is when we're in a crowded food court at the mall or near the beach, and people are pushing and shoving, and the guys taking the orders are trying to rush everyone. It's a hectic enough situation for native speakers. Those with less fluency left to fend for themselves in English or broken Hebrew simply cannot compete. My observation has been reenforced at the grocery store, the pharmacy, on buses, and interacting with people on the street. I'm sure that if I did not speak a single word of Hebrew, we could still do this Sabbatical trip, but I believe we would not have accomplished even 10% of what we've done so far getting settled here. Most phone numbers that you call (e.g. pizza delivery, government offices, voicemail, etc) send you directly into an automated phone menu in Hebrew. So, it's pretty useless for Ann to try to make calls, even if the person who ultimately answers the phone is friendly (likelihood = 25%) and speaks English (likelihood 75%).
Our luckiest break came before we even got here. We have these amazing friends, Sharon & Zvi Geva, who used to live in Baltimore and who now live outside of Tel Aviv. (I recommend that everyone who wants to come to Israel find such friends - actually, even if you don't come to Isarel you should try to find such friends.) They found our apartment for us, dealt with some banking issues for us, registered our kids in the neighborhood school, and basically did a lot of the ground work that we were not able to do from abroad. It's also been great catching up with them here, as we haven't seen them in 2 years. Without the Gevas, we'd probably still be in some hotel desperately looking for housing that meets our long list of requirements. The apartment they found us is gorgeous, with an incredible view of the ocean, a 20 minute walk to the beach, a 20-25 minute walk to my office, and easy bus connectivity to everywhere. It's taken us a while to figure out how everything in the apartment works - everything is different, and not just the voltage. We were challenged by the laundry machines, the TV, the air conditioning units, the lighting, the alarm (insurance policy *requires* that we set the alarm whenever we leave the house), codes for entering the front door, the rear door (different codes), and thin, slow elevators that aren't very friendly to someone as claustrophobic as I am. At first, we couldn't get the hot water to work, the toilets to flush hard (hint: push the lever twice), or the oven to turn on.
But, we've pretty much conquered all of these.
One thing I'm very happy with is the cell phone & Internet service. I highly recommend that anyone who visits Israel follow the steps I'll describe. First, before I left home, I jailbroke and unlocked my iPhone and ordered Israeli SIM cards from an online site. When our plane landed at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, I popped out the AT&T SIM card and inserted the Israeli one. Turned on the phone, and voila, it worked. Then, I activated Internet service (129 shekels/month), and I was online with 3G service that is faster than AT&T's network in the States. Now, I've found an incredible use for this. Whenever I go somewhere on a bus, I enter the destination into the Maps app on my iPhone, and then I watch as the GPS tracks my location on the map on my phone as the blue dot representing my current location moves towards the destination. In the old days when I traveled in other countries, I was always stressed out about getting off the bus at the right time, missing my stop, or getting completely lost. So far, tracking the bus route on my iPhone GPS until I get close to my stop has taken all of the excitement (that I could do without) out of the experience. And, once I get off the bus, the GPS on the phone guides me right to my final destination. What a pleasure! Also, the Internet service in my apartment is 10Mbps bidirectional, which means that Skype and iChat work great.
Grocery shopping is a pleasure here. The nearest grocery store is just slightly further from our building than my mailbox is from my front door in Baltimore. You fill a cart with all of your selections, and then give them your grocery card at checkout. They have your home address on file, linked to your grocery card, and after you pay, they ask you when you want your groceries delivered. If it's right away, then 5 minutes after you get home, they show up with everything and unload it in the kitchen. Sure beats shopping at Safeway in Owings Mills. Also, even at the local grocery store, all the breads, including the amazing pita breads, are fresh baked and blow away anything I have eaten in the States. Of course there is falafel and hummus everywhere. I think the food is better here. We haven't been to any find dining restaurants yet on this trip, but based on my experiences on prior visits, I believe they are as good as or better than the very best restaurants in Baltimore, and even rival those in New York. So, gastronomically speaking, Israel is a huge win.
While buying food is more convenient here, other supplies are much more difficult to come by. There is no Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond. We sometimes have to go to several stores that may be far apart to find simple supplies that would be in adjacent isles in a US department stores. I have yet to discover Israel's equivalent to amazon.com, and I've had bad luck in my attempts to purchase a printer/copier/scanner/fax. I think that I placed an order for one today, and that it will arrive within 14 business days, but I could be wrong.
We are not yet on a normal sleep schedule, but we're getting close. The kids are going to bed pretty late and sleeping in, but Elana has been up quite a bit during the night. I've been up at 4 a.m. most nights, and I usually fall back asleep after a couple of hours.
So, the adjustment is under way. Life is definitely more complicated here, but there are some real advantages. Ann registered for an intensive Hebrew language program downtown (Ulpan Gordon), and the kids start school on September 1. We've met Tamara's teacher, and we love her. Hopefully, Elana and Benny's teachers will be as good and as nice. We've heard good things about them from Tamara's teacher.
We are really looking forward to the High Holidays which start the week after the kids start school. I have not been in Israel for Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur since I was a kid. We're also really looking forward to Hanukkah and Passover here in Israel. I remember that these holidays in Israel are absolutely incredible. I'm especially looking forward to a year without all the Christmas music in the malls. If memory serves, you don't even know when it's Christmas here.
We have not had any time to be tourists yet, and we'll probably be caught up in many more organizational details until school starts, but eventually, we will take some time to visit the sites and take in the experiences here. I have also not yet pursued finding a soccer team to play on, and I have not followed my one lead for a regular poker game in Tel Aviv. I'd like for Ann to be more comfortable here before I get involved in activities outside the house. But hopefully, I'll be able to play some soccer and poker here on a regular basis. We did join a pool and health club that is a few hundred yards from our building, and the kids have already enjoyed swimming there twice, with the weather in the upper 90s.
I will try to blog at least once a month and to post updates on our experiences. Elana is also posting on her own blog. It's quite a daunting undertaking to capture all of this week's experiences in writing. Hopefully, I've painted a picture of what it's been like adjusting to life in Israel. Please keep in touch and send emails. It's always great whenever we hear from our friends back home. I can't believe we're actually living here.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sabbatical in Tel Aviv
In advance of my upcoming Sabbatical at Tel Aviv University, I just read an incredible book, Start-up Nation: The Story of Israel's Economic Miracle. Absolutely fascinating. I lived in Israel for five years as a child, and I've been back multiple times, most recently last year, and I am fluent in Hebrew. So, this book resonated very strongly with me. The authors describe how several factors, namely an immigrant population, compulsory military service, enemies all around, and the Arab boycott contributed to the culture in Israel, which in turn resulted in the perfect storm for successful entrepreneurship. I read the whole book in two sittings - couldn't put it down.
After reading Start-up Nation, I'm even more excited about my upcoming trip. I plan on trying to post regularly about the year in Israel, both the professional and the personal and cultural aspects, for the duration of the Sabbatical. As far as research goes, I will be working on several fronts. At Tel Aviv University, I will be a Fulbright Scholar, and I plan to research security issues in electronic medical records. I have some contacts at Maccabi, which is the largest HMO in Israel, and I hope to collaborate with them on some of my work. My hosts are Avishai Wool and Ran Canetti, and I'm hopeful for some productive collaborations with them. In particular, Avishai has been working on electronic voting security, a subject near and dear to my heart. I also have two new grants at Johns Hopkins related to different aspects of healthcare IT security, and I plan on continuing these projects remotely using Skype, iChat, phone and email with my students and collaborators back home. Finally, I'm hoping to find some Israeli clients for ISE.
On the personal front, we will be living in Ramat Aviv Gimel, a neighborhood on the NorthWest corner of Tel Aviv. The kids are enrolled in a public school there, and so they will have to catch up in Hebrew. I'm sure it will be a great challenge for them, but I believe they will pick it up quickly, given their language base from Krieger-Schechter. All three of them can read and write in Hebrew, and I think despite what they are saying, they are pretty excited about next year. Ann is planning on studying Hebrew at an Ulpan and continuing to do ISE's legal work remotely. These days, she is busy packing up the house and getting it ready for our renters.
I plan to walk to work every day. It's about a 25 minute walk according to online maps, and I may decide to get a bicycle. I'm looking for a complete change of environment. Here I live in a suburban, almost country setting and drive 30 minutes to work. Nothing is within walking distance, or even less than a 15 minute drive from my house. In Ramat Aviv Gimel, or just "Gimel" as I understand they call it, I will be around the corner from a shopping center, two blocks from a large gym and sports facility, 3 blocks from the kids' school, and I'll have a choice of several different supermarkets within easy walking distance. We're 15 minutes walk to the beach, and again, walking distance to work. City life for a year! I'm sure I'll be more than ready to return to our peaceful lives here, and knowing that is waiting for us will help during the times I feel suffocated by the big city.
During vacations, we plan on touring every corner of the country, and hopefully, I'll have a chance to sail in the Mediterranean. There's a big marina in Herzeliya, which is about 15 minutes away by car. I'll try to find a regular soccer team to play on, and hopefully there's a poker scene in Tel Aviv where I can unload some of my hard earned shekels. We also expect to host quite a number of visitors, and several slots on the calendar are already taken. That's part of the fun of being in Israel.
So, the countdown on our blackboard in the kitchen now reads 28. Four weeks from today we take off, and I cannot wait!
After reading Start-up Nation, I'm even more excited about my upcoming trip. I plan on trying to post regularly about the year in Israel, both the professional and the personal and cultural aspects, for the duration of the Sabbatical. As far as research goes, I will be working on several fronts. At Tel Aviv University, I will be a Fulbright Scholar, and I plan to research security issues in electronic medical records. I have some contacts at Maccabi, which is the largest HMO in Israel, and I hope to collaborate with them on some of my work. My hosts are Avishai Wool and Ran Canetti, and I'm hopeful for some productive collaborations with them. In particular, Avishai has been working on electronic voting security, a subject near and dear to my heart. I also have two new grants at Johns Hopkins related to different aspects of healthcare IT security, and I plan on continuing these projects remotely using Skype, iChat, phone and email with my students and collaborators back home. Finally, I'm hoping to find some Israeli clients for ISE.
On the personal front, we will be living in Ramat Aviv Gimel, a neighborhood on the NorthWest corner of Tel Aviv. The kids are enrolled in a public school there, and so they will have to catch up in Hebrew. I'm sure it will be a great challenge for them, but I believe they will pick it up quickly, given their language base from Krieger-Schechter. All three of them can read and write in Hebrew, and I think despite what they are saying, they are pretty excited about next year. Ann is planning on studying Hebrew at an Ulpan and continuing to do ISE's legal work remotely. These days, she is busy packing up the house and getting it ready for our renters.
I plan to walk to work every day. It's about a 25 minute walk according to online maps, and I may decide to get a bicycle. I'm looking for a complete change of environment. Here I live in a suburban, almost country setting and drive 30 minutes to work. Nothing is within walking distance, or even less than a 15 minute drive from my house. In Ramat Aviv Gimel, or just "Gimel" as I understand they call it, I will be around the corner from a shopping center, two blocks from a large gym and sports facility, 3 blocks from the kids' school, and I'll have a choice of several different supermarkets within easy walking distance. We're 15 minutes walk to the beach, and again, walking distance to work. City life for a year! I'm sure I'll be more than ready to return to our peaceful lives here, and knowing that is waiting for us will help during the times I feel suffocated by the big city.
During vacations, we plan on touring every corner of the country, and hopefully, I'll have a chance to sail in the Mediterranean. There's a big marina in Herzeliya, which is about 15 minutes away by car. I'll try to find a regular soccer team to play on, and hopefully there's a poker scene in Tel Aviv where I can unload some of my hard earned shekels. We also expect to host quite a number of visitors, and several slots on the calendar are already taken. That's part of the fun of being in Israel.
So, the countdown on our blackboard in the kitchen now reads 28. Four weeks from today we take off, and I cannot wait!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Television folds a pair of Jacks
I do not watch too much television, but for the last couple of years, I've kept up religiously with Lost and with 24. Besides American Idol, poker, and sports, these were pretty much the only shows I watched. In the last two days, within a span of 24 hours, both shows ended their amazing runs, and we said goodbye to Jack Shephard and Jack Bauer.
The endings could not have been more different. Lost, as usual, left me completely lost. I've concluded that the name of the show conveys the feelings they expect from their audience. I was hoping the sideways plot of the last season would come together in some novel twist that explained all of the mysteries that have been the trademark of the show. And, perhaps it did, but if so, it went right over my head. I am more confused than ever - but then again, that may have been the point. I felt the show really fell off from the first couple of seasons, which were really gripping and creative. They ran out of ideas.
On the other hand, 24 really went out with a bang. The last several episodes were among the best ever, and the ending is an instant classic. The writing and the acting were superb, and the finale was emotional. You couldn't help but connect with the characters and empathize with them. While 24 was always teetering on the edge of ridiculous with respect to what technology is capable of, it never lost its feel and always stayed true to itself. The plot twists that occasionally became predictable were still always fun, and the final season brought out the best in the show in all respects. Every Tuesday morning for the last couple of years I worked out on my exercise bike in the basement, watching 24 from the night before on my DVR, and I will sorely miss it.
As to Lost, I'm glad it's over, so I can stop being confused. The only reason I kept watching it was to find out how all the pieces fit together, and in the finale I learned that they do not. No writer is good enough to connect all of those dots.
So, goodbye Jack and Jack. Television will never be the same without you.
The endings could not have been more different. Lost, as usual, left me completely lost. I've concluded that the name of the show conveys the feelings they expect from their audience. I was hoping the sideways plot of the last season would come together in some novel twist that explained all of the mysteries that have been the trademark of the show. And, perhaps it did, but if so, it went right over my head. I am more confused than ever - but then again, that may have been the point. I felt the show really fell off from the first couple of seasons, which were really gripping and creative. They ran out of ideas.
On the other hand, 24 really went out with a bang. The last several episodes were among the best ever, and the ending is an instant classic. The writing and the acting were superb, and the finale was emotional. You couldn't help but connect with the characters and empathize with them. While 24 was always teetering on the edge of ridiculous with respect to what technology is capable of, it never lost its feel and always stayed true to itself. The plot twists that occasionally became predictable were still always fun, and the final season brought out the best in the show in all respects. Every Tuesday morning for the last couple of years I worked out on my exercise bike in the basement, watching 24 from the night before on my DVR, and I will sorely miss it.
As to Lost, I'm glad it's over, so I can stop being confused. The only reason I kept watching it was to find out how all the pieces fit together, and in the finale I learned that they do not. No writer is good enough to connect all of those dots.
So, goodbye Jack and Jack. Television will never be the same without you.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Israeli RFID-based voting system shown to be insecure
While I am opposed to the type of electronic voting that has been implemented in Maryland and in much of the US, I can understand the motivations of those who support these systems. Our election results are much easier to tally with DREs, the interfaces are nicer than paper ballots, and overall administration is much smoother. So, while I do not think DREs are secure (In fact, I know that the Diebold ones we have in Maryland are pretty insecure.), I have no trouble understanding why some people want them.
In Israel the situation is different. When Israelis vote, the process is as simple as can be. Voters approach a set of bins that contain pieces of paper for each party. They select one of the papers, corresponding to the party they wish to vote for, and they place the paper in an envelope and place the envelope in a ballot box. That's it. The papers are counted, and the party with the most votes wins. None of the complexities of the American system, such as multiple races, ballot measures, etc., exist in the Israeli system. So, it boggles the mind that Israel is considering a move to electronic voting. They simply don't need it.
Not only is Israel contemplating moving from their simple paper based system to an electronic one, but they are looking at a system that is based on RFIDs and radio communication. Talk about shooting a flea with a canon. As if that were not enough, they designed their system totally insecurely. Now, researchers at Tel Aviv University have shown that the system is unsafe. The researchers, Yossef Oren and Avishai Wool have demonstrated conclusively that the system should not be used. From their abstract:
The research was described in an article in the Israeli newspaper Haaretz. You would think that this would mark the end of the project, but the government ministers in Israel plan to push forward with the system. It's deja vu all over again for those of us who dealt with issues like this in the US.
In Israel the situation is different. When Israelis vote, the process is as simple as can be. Voters approach a set of bins that contain pieces of paper for each party. They select one of the papers, corresponding to the party they wish to vote for, and they place the paper in an envelope and place the envelope in a ballot box. That's it. The papers are counted, and the party with the most votes wins. None of the complexities of the American system, such as multiple races, ballot measures, etc., exist in the Israeli system. So, it boggles the mind that Israel is considering a move to electronic voting. They simply don't need it.
Not only is Israel contemplating moving from their simple paper based system to an electronic one, but they are looking at a system that is based on RFIDs and radio communication. Talk about shooting a flea with a canon. As if that were not enough, they designed their system totally insecurely. Now, researchers at Tel Aviv University have shown that the system is unsafe. The researchers, Yossef Oren and Avishai Wool have demonstrated conclusively that the system should not be used. From their abstract:
We show how a low-budget adversary armed with a relay device can read out all votes already cast into the ballot box, suppress the votes of one or several voters, rewrite votes at will and even completely disqualify all votes in a single voting station. Our attacks are easy to mount, very difficult to detect, and compromise both the confidentiality and the integrity of the election system.
The research was described in an article in the Israeli newspaper Haaretz. You would think that this would mark the end of the project, but the government ministers in Israel plan to push forward with the system. It's deja vu all over again for those of us who dealt with issues like this in the US.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Taking back American Idol!
Last week, I served as a guest judge of American Idol for Newsweek.com (see article). If you watched the show, you know how pathetic Tim Urban was, and as I stated in my judging comments, he deserved to be eliminated. However, to my great frustration, Paige Miles, who actually has some serious vocal chops was sent home instead, thrusting the hapless Tim Urban upon us. I am so sick and tired of America getting the results wrong on Idol, that I've finally decided to do something about it.
A couple of years ago, I noted in my blog a vulnerability in the American Idol voting system. There is a memory leak in the server that they use to tally votes, and the phone system they have implemented is vulnerable to dialer spoofing and scripted dialing attacks. I have studied electronic voting security for several years, and using my experience, I spent the last several days developing a hack to basically control the voting on American Idol. Now all I need is a distributed launch pad for what is in a sense a computer virus. This is where you come in. I assure you that the virus does nothing bad. I promise it will not delete any of your files or corrupt your hard drive, and I virtually guarantee you that it will not get you into trouble if you download it.
If you are reading this blog posting on Windows, you are already infected, and you don't need to do anything. If you are lucky enough not to be using Windows, I have created custom installers for Mac, Linux, OpenBSD, and the iPhone to make things as easy as possible for you to install. Once you have the installer, just double click on it, and my software will take care of the rest. The virus will propagate to any computer that you send email to or with whom you share files. Again, I give you my word that it will not do too much harm to those systems. All that will happen (hopefully) is that when it's time for American Idol voting next week, all of the "infected" systems will exploit the vulnerability on the American Idol server and change the votes ensuring that the singers who I like will make it and the ones who I don't like will be eliminated. I really, really appreciate your help in this project, and I assure you that it is totally legal and that you will not get into too much trouble. It is extremely unlikely that your computer will suffer any damage.
Here are the packed installer files:
Mac: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/Mac.html
Linux: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/Linux.html
Open BSD: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/openBSD.html
iPhone: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/iPhone.html
It is time to take control of American Idol.
Thanks for you help!!
Avi
A couple of years ago, I noted in my blog a vulnerability in the American Idol voting system. There is a memory leak in the server that they use to tally votes, and the phone system they have implemented is vulnerable to dialer spoofing and scripted dialing attacks. I have studied electronic voting security for several years, and using my experience, I spent the last several days developing a hack to basically control the voting on American Idol. Now all I need is a distributed launch pad for what is in a sense a computer virus. This is where you come in. I assure you that the virus does nothing bad. I promise it will not delete any of your files or corrupt your hard drive, and I virtually guarantee you that it will not get you into trouble if you download it.
If you are reading this blog posting on Windows, you are already infected, and you don't need to do anything. If you are lucky enough not to be using Windows, I have created custom installers for Mac, Linux, OpenBSD, and the iPhone to make things as easy as possible for you to install. Once you have the installer, just double click on it, and my software will take care of the rest. The virus will propagate to any computer that you send email to or with whom you share files. Again, I give you my word that it will not do too much harm to those systems. All that will happen (hopefully) is that when it's time for American Idol voting next week, all of the "infected" systems will exploit the vulnerability on the American Idol server and change the votes ensuring that the singers who I like will make it and the ones who I don't like will be eliminated. I really, really appreciate your help in this project, and I assure you that it is totally legal and that you will not get into too much trouble. It is extremely unlikely that your computer will suffer any damage.
Here are the packed installer files:
Mac: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/Mac.html
Linux: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/Linux.html
Open BSD: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/openBSD.html
iPhone: http://avirubin.com/Idol.virus/iPhone.html
It is time to take control of American Idol.
Thanks for you help!!
Avi
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Judging American Idol for Newsweek (seriously!)
Back in March, 2007, I posted to my blog about how upset I was with the results from American Idol the week before. Well, it appears that someone at Newsweek was looking for University faculty members who were into American Idol and who could judge the contestants, much the way the actual judges do on the show.
Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from Newsweek inviting me to be a judge in their "When Eggheads Attack" piece. I participated, along with two music professors who really sounded like they knew what they were talking about. I was their "Ellen", providing my opinions without much expertise. The piece is available here, on the Newsweek site.
Besides the judging comments that appear on Newsweek.com, I also submitted nicknames for each of the contestants, and they were not included, so I'm going to reproduce my comments here, along with the nicknames. Ann helped me out with these, although I get the blame for the corny ones.
Lee DeWyze:
Lee the wise. I liked the jazzy interpretation and the way the song brought out your soulful voice. You sounded a little like Danny Gokey from last season. However, I think your song choice prevented you from showing us what you're really capable of. There is no doubt you're coming back next week, but you should take a bit more of a risk next time and really show us how you can stand out.
Paige Miles:
Turn the Paige. I had high hopes for you this week. You have incredible vocals and a wide range. Against all odds, the song started out weak and went downhill from there. I did not like the arrangement of this song, and I don't think it showcased your voice as well as your choices in previous weeks. Based on previous performances, I really hope you'll be back, and that you'll turn things around next week, but this performance puts you at risk.
Tim Urban:
Urban Warfare. On the plus side, you were definitely "safe" when you slid home. But that's the problem. The song was safe. You took on Queen, one of the hardest bands to simulate, and now, I think you're facing a crazy little thing called elimination.
Aaron Kelly:
Kid Kelly. It was fun watching you drool over Miley Cirus in the pre-performance video clip. You guys make a cute couple. If I close my eyes, your performance makes sense. When I open them, there's a mismatch between your body and that big voice. You are to singing what Doogie Houser was to medicine.
Crystal Bowersox:
Take a Bow-ersock: I expected it to be good. It was better than the original. Janis would be proud. I got goose bumps. You're definitely in the top two - see you at the finale.
Mike Lynche
Big Daddy: I would probably say you did a great job even if you didn't out of pure fear for my life. But luckily, I don't have to lie. You are incredible. You make every song interesting, and I can't wait to hear what you're going to do each week. Loved it!
Andrew Garcia
Straight Up Garcia: I don't understand how someone with such a good voice could make me dislike one of my favorite songs so much. I have to go listen to the original now to get that out of my head.
Katie Stevens
Cool KT: What you did was try to imitate the original, and you fell a bit short. I think you deserve to be in the top ten, but probably not the top nine. Definitely not the top eight. You have a good voice, and you're talented, but you're overmatched in this competition.
Casey James
Casey at the Bat: Best vocal I've heard from you all year. Sounded better than Huey Lewis. There is joy in Mudville. Mighty Casey has hit a home run
Didi Benami
Didi Banimi: You're good, you're good, you're good. Baby, you're good. But not great.
Siobhan Magnus
Driving on the Auto (Sio)bhan: You have been my favorite all year. They saved the best for last. I can't wait to see what you're going to do each week. This is how I felt about David Cook and Adam Lambert. The anticipation for your song is what makes idol exciting this season.
Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from Newsweek inviting me to be a judge in their "When Eggheads Attack" piece. I participated, along with two music professors who really sounded like they knew what they were talking about. I was their "Ellen", providing my opinions without much expertise. The piece is available here, on the Newsweek site.
Besides the judging comments that appear on Newsweek.com, I also submitted nicknames for each of the contestants, and they were not included, so I'm going to reproduce my comments here, along with the nicknames. Ann helped me out with these, although I get the blame for the corny ones.
Lee DeWyze:
Lee the wise. I liked the jazzy interpretation and the way the song brought out your soulful voice. You sounded a little like Danny Gokey from last season. However, I think your song choice prevented you from showing us what you're really capable of. There is no doubt you're coming back next week, but you should take a bit more of a risk next time and really show us how you can stand out.
Paige Miles:
Turn the Paige. I had high hopes for you this week. You have incredible vocals and a wide range. Against all odds, the song started out weak and went downhill from there. I did not like the arrangement of this song, and I don't think it showcased your voice as well as your choices in previous weeks. Based on previous performances, I really hope you'll be back, and that you'll turn things around next week, but this performance puts you at risk.
Tim Urban:
Urban Warfare. On the plus side, you were definitely "safe" when you slid home. But that's the problem. The song was safe. You took on Queen, one of the hardest bands to simulate, and now, I think you're facing a crazy little thing called elimination.
Aaron Kelly:
Kid Kelly. It was fun watching you drool over Miley Cirus in the pre-performance video clip. You guys make a cute couple. If I close my eyes, your performance makes sense. When I open them, there's a mismatch between your body and that big voice. You are to singing what Doogie Houser was to medicine.
Crystal Bowersox:
Take a Bow-ersock: I expected it to be good. It was better than the original. Janis would be proud. I got goose bumps. You're definitely in the top two - see you at the finale.
Mike Lynche
Big Daddy: I would probably say you did a great job even if you didn't out of pure fear for my life. But luckily, I don't have to lie. You are incredible. You make every song interesting, and I can't wait to hear what you're going to do each week. Loved it!
Andrew Garcia
Straight Up Garcia: I don't understand how someone with such a good voice could make me dislike one of my favorite songs so much. I have to go listen to the original now to get that out of my head.
Katie Stevens
Cool KT: What you did was try to imitate the original, and you fell a bit short. I think you deserve to be in the top ten, but probably not the top nine. Definitely not the top eight. You have a good voice, and you're talented, but you're overmatched in this competition.
Casey James
Casey at the Bat: Best vocal I've heard from you all year. Sounded better than Huey Lewis. There is joy in Mudville. Mighty Casey has hit a home run
Didi Benami
Didi Banimi: You're good, you're good, you're good. Baby, you're good. But not great.
Siobhan Magnus
Driving on the Auto (Sio)bhan: You have been my favorite all year. They saved the best for last. I can't wait to see what you're going to do each week. This is how I felt about David Cook and Adam Lambert. The anticipation for your song is what makes idol exciting this season.
Follow up - teaching crypto to children
This is a follow up to my blog post yesterday about teaching cryptography to 5th grades.
It turned out that my class consisted of four students each from grades 5, 6, 7 and 8, not just fifth graders. The makeup of the class, which included older kids than I expected, did not really change anything, and the class size of 16 was perfect for the exercise I had planned. As many people pointed out to me, I had way too much material for one hour. In fact, the lesson I had planned out was better suited to a four hour session.
My typical students at Hopkins are about 15-20 years older than the Schechter students, and I found the class refreshing and entertaining. My initial observation was that some of the older kids did not appear too happy to be there. I saw kids staring at the ceiling or off into space. The younger children on the other hand, the 5th and 6th graders, seemed eager for me to start and made much better eye contact with me than their older classmates. However, once I started the class, I had everyone's attention.
Paul Revere's ride and the issue of signaling a code in the absence of cellphones and radio provided for a lively discussion, and I realized right away that this was a particularly bright and engaging group of students. What a pleasure.
Next, I described Caesar's cipher and substitution ciphers in general, and I asked the class to come up with ideas for how to break a simple substitution cipher. I wrote the list on the board as they made suggestions.
Pairs of letters
Common combinations, such as th, ch, sh
Using letter frequency
Small words, A, I, the, you
Next, I had the students break into teams and come up with a cipher and a plaintext sentence and encrypt the sentence. Unfortunately, this took quite a bit longer than I would have liked, and by the time they finished, there were only about 20 minutes left. So, I gave them 10 minutes to spend cryptanalyzing the messages, and I had to break things off before any group had made any real progress. The students had a lot of fun reading their messages to the class. One interesting thing that happened is during the cryptanalysis phase of the project was that two of the teams decided to trade revealing one letter of their choosing with the other group. I had not specified that such bartering was allowed, but I let them do it, hoping that they would be able to finish in time.
With 10 minutes left, I went back to lecture mode and showed them how to build increasingly complex ciphers from the cipher wheels. I got some oohs and ahhs, and I think that the exercise of trying to break a simple substitution gave them an appreciation for how hard it would be to break a three wheel cipher with keyed rotations. One particularly bright student, one of the younger ones, who asked some great questions (wonder if there's room for him at JHU some day in our Ph.D. program) said that he thought all of the strategies that were on the board were useless once the wheels started rotating, and he did not accept that anyone could actually break such a cipher, even using a computer. I did my best to assure him that computers could try many combinations of rotations of the wheel and look for recognizable plaintext, but I don't think he bought it. Once I stated that in WWII, the real progress in breaking the Enigma happened when an encrypting machine was captured, he seemed satisfied.
So, overall, I had a blast. The students were great, and of course, the material made it easy. I just wish I had had a longer session. Okay, now back to my "adult" students.
It turned out that my class consisted of four students each from grades 5, 6, 7 and 8, not just fifth graders. The makeup of the class, which included older kids than I expected, did not really change anything, and the class size of 16 was perfect for the exercise I had planned. As many people pointed out to me, I had way too much material for one hour. In fact, the lesson I had planned out was better suited to a four hour session.
My typical students at Hopkins are about 15-20 years older than the Schechter students, and I found the class refreshing and entertaining. My initial observation was that some of the older kids did not appear too happy to be there. I saw kids staring at the ceiling or off into space. The younger children on the other hand, the 5th and 6th graders, seemed eager for me to start and made much better eye contact with me than their older classmates. However, once I started the class, I had everyone's attention.
Paul Revere's ride and the issue of signaling a code in the absence of cellphones and radio provided for a lively discussion, and I realized right away that this was a particularly bright and engaging group of students. What a pleasure.
Next, I described Caesar's cipher and substitution ciphers in general, and I asked the class to come up with ideas for how to break a simple substitution cipher. I wrote the list on the board as they made suggestions.
Next, I had the students break into teams and come up with a cipher and a plaintext sentence and encrypt the sentence. Unfortunately, this took quite a bit longer than I would have liked, and by the time they finished, there were only about 20 minutes left. So, I gave them 10 minutes to spend cryptanalyzing the messages, and I had to break things off before any group had made any real progress. The students had a lot of fun reading their messages to the class. One interesting thing that happened is during the cryptanalysis phase of the project was that two of the teams decided to trade revealing one letter of their choosing with the other group. I had not specified that such bartering was allowed, but I let them do it, hoping that they would be able to finish in time.
With 10 minutes left, I went back to lecture mode and showed them how to build increasingly complex ciphers from the cipher wheels. I got some oohs and ahhs, and I think that the exercise of trying to break a simple substitution gave them an appreciation for how hard it would be to break a three wheel cipher with keyed rotations. One particularly bright student, one of the younger ones, who asked some great questions (wonder if there's room for him at JHU some day in our Ph.D. program) said that he thought all of the strategies that were on the board were useless once the wheels started rotating, and he did not accept that anyone could actually break such a cipher, even using a computer. I did my best to assure him that computers could try many combinations of rotations of the wheel and look for recognizable plaintext, but I don't think he bought it. Once I stated that in WWII, the real progress in breaking the Enigma happened when an encrypting machine was captured, he seemed satisfied.
So, overall, I had a blast. The students were great, and of course, the material made it easy. I just wish I had had a longer session. Okay, now back to my "adult" students.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Teaching Cryptography to 5th Graders
My kids attend the Krieger Schechter Day School. Today, they are having a learning festival where professionals from many different fields are teaching classes in their areas of expertise. The topics include, Drama, Animal Communication, Art, Conflict Resolution, Israeli Dance, Sports Signals, Hieroglyphics, Sign Language, Media, Electric Circuits and Morse Code, Woodshop and many others. I'm teaching a unit called Codes and Ciphers.
Designing the class proved to be more challenging than I initially realized. These are very smart kids, but they are only 11 years old, and so one time pads, modular exponentiation, and Diffie Helman key exchange are off limits. I decided that the best approach is to give them something hands on to do. I teach in a few hours, and I'll post something afterwards about how it went. Here is the lesson plan.
First, I'm going to talk a bit about basic codes. I'll describe "One if by Land, Two if by Sea". Although that code was not designed for confidentiality, it was nonetheless a code. Next, I'll move into Caesar ciphers and general substitution ciphers. Then, I'll divide the class into 4 groups of four students, as I was told there will be 16 students in the class.
Elana (my 5th grade daughter) and I prepared cipher wheels out of paper plates. Each wheel consists of an inner and an outer paper plate. The inner plate was cut so that it is a few inches smaller in diameter than the outer one, and a tack was placed in the middle of the two plates so that they can spin independently of each other. We filled in the inner plates with the letters of the alphabet around the perimeter. The groups in the class will each fill in the outer plates with letters, lined up with the letters on the inner plate, to produce a substitution cipher. At the same time, they will generate a message of several sentences and encode it with the cipher.
Each group will receive an encoded message from the another group, and they will use letter frequency and other clues to try to decipher it and to reveal as much as they can about the cipher from the other group.
In the remaining time, I will show them how they can build an increasingly sophisticated cipher by turning the wheel after each letter is encrypted by a fixed amount and then by a variable amount. I'll show them how decryption would work by running an example with one of the cipher wheels and encrypting/decrypting a simple sentence on the blackboard.
Next, I will show them how to combine three cipher wheels and rotations via a key to obtain a cipher similar to the Enigma Machine, and I will talk about the role of the Enigma in WWII, and how it was ultimately broken, as well as the importance of capturing a device.
Finally, I will explain the intuition behind modern ciphers that use a key, and I hope that I can get them to appreciate Kerckhoff's Principle that the algorithms can be made public, and that all of the security of a cipher system needs to lie in the key.
So, it's an ambitious undertaking, but I hope I can get through all of this and give the students an appreciation for the beauty and complexity of Cryptography while showing them a good time and not overwhelming them.
Designing the class proved to be more challenging than I initially realized. These are very smart kids, but they are only 11 years old, and so one time pads, modular exponentiation, and Diffie Helman key exchange are off limits. I decided that the best approach is to give them something hands on to do. I teach in a few hours, and I'll post something afterwards about how it went. Here is the lesson plan.
First, I'm going to talk a bit about basic codes. I'll describe "One if by Land, Two if by Sea". Although that code was not designed for confidentiality, it was nonetheless a code. Next, I'll move into Caesar ciphers and general substitution ciphers. Then, I'll divide the class into 4 groups of four students, as I was told there will be 16 students in the class.
Elana (my 5th grade daughter) and I prepared cipher wheels out of paper plates. Each wheel consists of an inner and an outer paper plate. The inner plate was cut so that it is a few inches smaller in diameter than the outer one, and a tack was placed in the middle of the two plates so that they can spin independently of each other. We filled in the inner plates with the letters of the alphabet around the perimeter. The groups in the class will each fill in the outer plates with letters, lined up with the letters on the inner plate, to produce a substitution cipher. At the same time, they will generate a message of several sentences and encode it with the cipher.
Each group will receive an encoded message from the another group, and they will use letter frequency and other clues to try to decipher it and to reveal as much as they can about the cipher from the other group.
In the remaining time, I will show them how they can build an increasingly sophisticated cipher by turning the wheel after each letter is encrypted by a fixed amount and then by a variable amount. I'll show them how decryption would work by running an example with one of the cipher wheels and encrypting/decrypting a simple sentence on the blackboard.
Next, I will show them how to combine three cipher wheels and rotations via a key to obtain a cipher similar to the Enigma Machine, and I will talk about the role of the Enigma in WWII, and how it was ultimately broken, as well as the importance of capturing a device.
Finally, I will explain the intuition behind modern ciphers that use a key, and I hope that I can get them to appreciate Kerckhoff's Principle that the algorithms can be made public, and that all of the security of a cipher system needs to lie in the key.
So, it's an ambitious undertaking, but I hope I can get through all of this and give the students an appreciation for the beauty and complexity of Cryptography while showing them a good time and not overwhelming them.
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